The beginning of the new year has been somewhat traumatizing for me. I am suffering from jolts of electricity shooting up my spine at a moment’s notice. My chiropractor believes it is a result of my pelvis and neck being out of alignment. And, as a result, I have not worked in over 2 weeks. Not the way I wanted to begin 2019.
I have been anxious, sad and disappointed in not getting off to the running start that I had envisioned for the new year. I was somewhat relieved when a close family member came to visit from Virginia, but the visit was not enough to completely take my mind off the helplessness I had been experiencing as of late.
And, it wasn’t until this morning (I am writing this blog on 1/9) that I used the words “really scary” to describe my discomfort to my wife. She immediately lifted her head and replied, “I had no idea that you were feeling this way.” Wow! I thought for sure she knew how devastating this experience has been for me.
This conversation caused me to reflect on my behavior and come to grips with what I had recently learned about vulnerability from Brene Brown author of “Daring Greatly.” Brown succinctly describes my attitude and that of many others as, “I want to experience your vulnerability, but I don’t want to be vulnerable.”
How is my wife or anyone else going to fully understand me if I am unwilling to be vulnerable? Below are 5 ways to be more vulnerable in 2019 so that you can connect better with family, friends, and co-workers.
- Get over shame. You are not your failures.
- Get over scarcity. You are enough.
- Get over perfectionism. You are going to make mistakes.
- Get over judgement. You are exacerbating disconnection.
- Get over comparisons. Your uniqueness is powerful.
Last, I offer the most powerful sentiment Brown shared in the book. The quote is a conclusion that Brown came to with the help of her husband after watching Ellen DeGeneres act silly and goofy while dancing on her hit TV show. And that is, “you can be loved for your vulnerabilities, not in spite of them.”